25 Nov 2010

CRICKETING FANS IN UK DON'T SLEEP--SOME SUGGESTIONS


The following are suggestions by avid UK-fans-sick and desperate. God forbid that England looses again in Australia.
The health system in England is already geared up with extra councillors in case there is an epidemic of depression caused by the usual loss of the series.
I am informed that they are also prepared for the unthinkable, an English win. They have councillors specially trained ready to help the colonials in OZ out if they are requested 
1. An instant pick- brushing your teeth.
2. Home early- 6 hours sleep before play begins? An hour sleep after play before work depending on  the batting.
3.Rent twins- Teething twins are available for rental if anyone is struggling to stay awake all night.
4.Housework- You start stock-piling jobs which can be done with an ear tuned to the radio about a week before. You go to bed early, set your alarm to 4am, try not to wake the not-quite-so-desperate cricket fans., iron/file/wash up/mop floors/put the washing on and listen to my heart's content.
5.Catheterising people-  not possible for most people,however if your a doctor it keeps you awake.
6. Bowling-  a few overs around the living room with a rubber practice ball usually does the job during quiet spells.
THE INSANITY STARTS SOON

1 comment:

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