Sometime once again we taxpayers could receive another 'Economic Stimulus' payment.
This is indeed a very exciting program.
I'll try to explain it by using a Q & A format:
Q. What is an 'Economic Stimulus' payment ?
A. It is money that government will send to taxpayers.
Q. Where will the government get this money ?
A. From taxpayers.
Q. So the government is giving me back my own money ?
A. Only a smidgen of it.
Q. What is the purpose of this payment ?
A. The plan is for you to use the money to purchase a high-definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy.
Q. But isn't that stimulating the economy of China ?
A Shut up.
Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the Aust. Economy by spending your stimulus cheque wisely:
If you spend the stimulus money at Coles, the money will go to China or Sri Lanka .
If you spend it on petrol, your money will go to the Arabs.
If you purchase a computer, your money will go to India , Taiwan , Malaysia or China .
If you purchase fruit and vegetables, your money will go to Mexico , Philippines and New Zealand.
If you buy an efficient car, your money will go to Japan or Korea
If you purchase useless stuff, your money will go to Taiwan ..
If you pay your credit cards off, or buy stock, your money will go to management bonuses and they will hide it offshore.
Instead, keep the money in Australia by:
1. Spending it at garage sales..
2. Going to the football.
3. Spending it on prostitutes or
4. Beer or
These are the only Australian businesses still operating in Australia.
Go to a football game with a tattooed prostitute that you met at a garage-sale and drink beer all day!