2 Apr 2014

News from ENGLAND from year about 2030

April 1st

HEADLINES FROM ENGLAND IN THE EARLY  2030’S

Ozone created by electric cars is now killing millions, it is not known why.

Britain 's deficit £10 trillion and rising. Government declares a return to surplus in 100 years which is 300 years ahead of time. Prime Minister Sir Mohammed Yousuf claims increased growth through more immigration is the secret to success. He says that immigrants from Christian nations could ad a touch of colour to the community.
White minorities still trying to have English listed as a language. 

Children from two-parent, married, heterosexual families bullied in schools for being 'different'. Tolerance urged.
While in Manchester a  schoolgirl was expelled for not wearing a Burqa or Man U colours. 

Japan announces that they will no longer consume whale meat. Whales are now extinct, and the scientific research fleet are unemployed.  The UK Government has told the Japanese that Grey Squirrels taste like whale meat, meanwhile Australia's  PM has offered Koalas as a better alternative.

Britain now has ten Universities of Political Correctness.  Professor Goldman of LSPC quotes the  Guru of political correctness Andrew Bolt ‘there is still a long way to go in the fight to stop people saying what they think’.

Australia’s deficit has been eliminated by King Tony the second by declaring that Australia no longer has debt.

Baby conceived naturally. Scientists say they are stumped by this event they are delving into archaeological studies to see if there is any other episode has occurred  in the past.

France has pleaded for global help after being taken over by Islamic Countries.  As all adjoining  countries are Islamic no other country has come forward.

Jose Manuel Rodrigez Bush says he will run for second term as US President in 2032. His father, past president Rodrigez Manuel Bush wishes him well.

Post Office raises price of stamps to £18 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesdays only. Pensioners have started a pigeon carrier mail service. A take over by a Giant multinational ‘Pigeons for higher’company is in the wind.

After a ten-year, £75.8 billion study commissioned by the both sides of politics scientists prove that food and exercise is the key to weight loss. Government has decided that food will be banned every second week as a trial.

Average weight of a British male drops to 18 stone, Australian’s do better as usual with average weight now 17 stone and a half. 

Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil and human rights. Victims to be held partly responsible for crime, because without victims there would be no crime.

New law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly swatters and rolled-up newspapers must be registered by January 2035 as lethal weapons. Rubbers and are already banned because the truth can often be erased or changed to avoid prosecution.

Inland Revenue sets lowest tax rate in decades at 75 per cent. Australia: King Tony the second of Australia abolishes Money, this results in zero tax to be replaced by a compulsory donations of goods to the same value.       No Money no deficit.


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