Woman held for noisy sex 'breach'

A woman has been remanded in custody accused of breaching an Asbo banning her from being noisy during sex. Neighbours complained of hearing Caroline Cartwright, 48, groaning and her bed banging against the wall at her home in Washington, Wearside. Earlier this month she was given a four-year Asbo banning her from making excessive noise anywhere in England. But she appeared in court on Monday, charged with three breaches of her Asbo in just 10 days. She was remanded in custody until 5 May. Cartwright was convicted of five breaches of a noise abatement notice on 17 April and fined £515. But Houghton le Spring Magistrates' Court heard police arrested her on 18 April, on 22 April and again on 26 April, after reports from neighbours she was flouting the ban with her husband Steve. Prosecutor Claire Ward said neighbours complained to police about early morning noises including shouting and groaning coming from the Cartwrights' home in Hall Road, Concord, Washington. Cartwright elected to be tried by jury and the case will be transferred to Newcastle Crown Court at a later date.

When things aren't what they seem

Tony Abbott's idea of a sheep in wolfs clothing looks more like the picture below

now that Julia has arrived

A very disarming wolf, but still a wolf

Before when Kevin was PM he thought a wolf was a wolf

Not any more!


Now Tony there's more than one way to shear a sheep,you haven't got the knack yet, but you had better hurry because they'll loose their fleece soon and then their a real handful.
They get real cocky!!

A WEE DOGGY

DANGER!!

DO NOT PARK UNDER A TREE WHEN THIS DOG IS ABOUT

Did you see that, I can't believe it, all I did was wee on it.

I do it all the time.

WOW!!

If you can't beat em join em

Tony's new approach

Do you think his deputy and the shadow treasurer are helping or hindering, remember it wasn't long ago that Joe challenged for the leadership.

Tony has got something, he may get away with it

You have to give him a few points for trying.

Bill Leak cartoon

I'M A PUPPY DOG

I was sitting looking out the window today when I saw some people who were walking down the street, they had a large dog. The dog and the woman ran on ahead to where they lived.
I had noticed a small dog following them at a distance as the man bribed their dog to do as it was told.

As soon as the other dog disappeared into the distance the little guy made his move, there was plenty of food in that bag, it bulged delightfully and he was determined to have some.

He was good I could see he knew what he was doing.
I wondered what this little guy is thinking, he reminded me of the artful dodger, a clever little guy for sure.

With this four legged little fellow in mind I penned this short poem.

 I'm a Puppy Dog

Hello my names doggy

Do you like me, I like you

I can see you've got food

Watch I can wiggle my tail

Wiggle it real fast

Can I have some please

If I rub up against you

Will you give me a bite

If I whimper a bit will it do the trick

Can I have some, I've got a stick

Will you chuck it for me

It's one of my tricks

Can I have a nibble now

I've picked up the stick

You know you're miserable

You're no fun, didn't give me any

Not even one

Oh well I tried, to get along

It's not my fault we don't get along

I've got to go now really bad!

Now you know your leg

It looks just like tree

Oh that feels good!

I've got to flee

Stephen W T Read 2010

Tony Abbott trying to break the habit

      Show me the way, I just need guidance

My press office suggested a new look

what do think, will it work?

Tony has been practising to become a warm and cuddly politician, his minders have told him he can't be so rude and aggressive.
He must learn to be more understanding when dealing with women, Julia Gillard in particular.
Tony has obviously been meditating on the subject, it appears that he believes he needs help form a higher being(not John Howard).

John Who?? congratulates Abbott

I got rid of Rudd, Abbott boasts

STEPHANIE PEATLING

June 27, 2010

This guy couldn't lie straight in bed

Congratulated by Howard for bringing down Rudd... Abbott. Photo: Glen McCurtayne

TONY ABBOTT(who was in shock at leadership change) has taken credit for the demise of Kevin Rudd, declaring it was proof the Coalition would defeat Labor at the next election.

And Mr Abbott revealed former prime minister John Howard (wasn't he the one that lost the last election) called him on Wednesday night to congratulate him on the achievement.

''He said you have done the greatest thing an opposition leader can - you have secured the collapse of a prime minister,'' he told a meeting of the federal council of the Liberal Party yesterday.

It made Tony believe that he may have super powers, because he is now talking like a comic strip character.

Mind you he spoke without a script, so who knows what's true.

Australian Newspaper does it again

Complaints roll in over BER scheme

MORE than 100 NSW public school communities filed complaints with the taskforce looking into the $16.2 billion schools stimulus program.

No mention that this woman was a Liberal supporter in the article.
The paper has again quoted a Liberal supporter Ms Cheryl McBride as a person with an unbiased opinion totally disregarding the fact that she campaigned for the Liberal party in the NT elections
Her description of over runs on the cost of the building work being carried in NSW schools is greatly exaggerated, if she was truly honest she would also praise the federal government for the funds provided.
As chairperson of the NSW principles forum she should not be distorting the benefits but describing the number of new buildings and classrooms built.
Her comments are being made because there is an election in the air.
She should not be chairperson of this forum.

Some miners never learn, we all have to share a meal sometimes

This man has never shared a meal in his life

Clive Palmer the billionaire has slammed former Federal Treasurer Wayne Swan, saying he does not deserve the role of Deputy Prime Minister.

Despite calls from Prime Minister Julia Gillard for a consensus on the mining tax, Palmer stated that the tax should be completely abolished.  As you can see he is starving to death and poor!!

One only has to look at him to see that he is a caring person. He cares for himself before anyone else.

Palmer went on to disparage the Minerals Council of Australia along with BHP Billiton, which chose to suspend anti Resources Super Profit Tax advertising after Gillard promised to axe Government advertising and called for the mining industry to do the same to open the door to negotiations.

The Consistent record of the Liberal Party in Australia

The recent remarks by Tony Abbott do not reflect the recent history of Liberal Party, of course if they change leaders its OK, when other parties do it they are evil!!!

People who live in glass houses should not throw stones.

Recent history of the Liberal Party.

Nelson replaces Howard 2007

16 September 2008 Nelson removed Replaced by Turnbull

23 November 2008 Andrews challenges and loses

1 December 2009 Hockey challenges

Abbott challenges and win leadership 2009.

Deputy Leadership was won by Julie Bishop once again having already served under Nelson,Turnbull and Abbott

After the Howard government's defeat by the Australian Labor Party in the 2007 election

Turnbull, Brendan Nelson and Tony Abbott announced they would each contest the Liberal Party leadership. Nelson defeated Turnbull in a ballot after Abbott withdrew his candidacy. Turnbull became the Shadow Treasurer on Nelson's front bench.

Nelson's leadership of the Liberal Party was beset by poor opinion poll numbers. There was speculation Turnbull would challenge Nelson for the leadership in late 2008.

Nelson caught Turnbull by surprise by calling a snap spill of the party's leadership positions while Turnbull was returning from an overseas holiday.

The spill was moved on 16 September 2008.

Turnbull defeated Nelson by four votes, becoming the leader of the Liberal Party.

Nelson later resigned from the House of Representatives.

At the same time, Abbott—who had publicly supported the ETS
He was now arguing that the coalition should abandon the policy.

Turnbull attacked Abbott's change of mind, stating: "Tony has expressed a number 


of views, each of which is at odds with the view he expressed before.

Abbott defeated Turnbull by one vote (42–41). Fran Bailey, a supporter of Turnbull, was absent for the vote, and there was one vote of "no", which was recorded as informal.

Abbott confirmed his opposition to the ETS legislation.

Abbott thus became the third consecutive leader, after 
Nelson and Turnbull.

THIS IS OUR NEW PRIME MINISTER

The very young Julia Gillard

A sightly older Julia Gillard

THE NEW PRIME MINISTER OF AUSTRALIA

"Our first woman in this position"

LIBERAL REACTIONS TO NEW PM

 Oh not Julia!                     Oh well!

Tony Abbott's training to fight Rudd

"And then along came Julia"

She's Only.......... a woman!!

Are you telling me that I can't hit her because she's a woman.

 Come on I have been practising my right hook.

Just cause she's a chook, no hook??

                          

Resting Workers Unite!!!!!!

It has come to my attention that a large section of the populous are not represented in any way.
Each country has this hard core of loyal citizens who have given their all for the country over many years.
Hard-working families should be looked after we are told.
Well what about us, we work a bit, have a cuppa, work a bit more, have a chat, work a bit more. We feel at a loss and not included in society.

"Work a bit sometimes, its good for you"

 This is the slogan for our new party, with branches being formed all over the world we will soon become a real force.
Of course it will be hard because I'll have to stop for a cuppa, chat a bit, then think a bit before I start.

I think we should call it retirement!!

Tony Abbott's face tells the story of new PM

Tony is waking up to his worst nightmare, he does not know how to handle her now, let alone now that she is to become Prime Minister. Considering he thinks females should remain in the kitchen, not the kitchen cabinet he will be totally at a loss. He can't use rough house tactics any more, being uncouth is one thing being rude is quite another thing.

Poor Tony

The look of a worried man, with a man in waiting.

Malcolm Turnbull close behind

Julia Gillard the new Prime Minister

Good morning folks, yes I am predicting a change in the leadership of the ALP, which means we will have our first female Prime Minister.
Political parties always want to stay in power, they will do what it takes to survive.
The reign of Kev has been sweet and then sour of late. He does not seem to have that magical knack of appealing to the average person on the street.
His opposition Tony Abbott even though he is uncouth seems to connect somehow.
Julia on the others hand does connect with people and she has shown herself very capable when acting as PM. Personally I believe this move will not only win the next election, but many more to follow. I am predicting right now that Tony Abbott will be dumped as opposition leader straight after the next election and we will see the return of Malcolm Turnbull....you wait and see!

The Face of Our New 

Prime Minister

Julia Gillard

GET USED TO HER, SHE WILL BE HERE FOR QUITE A WHILE

(by, by Kevin 07 and good luck!!)

Wayne Rooney "You asked me to try and look what happened"

Did I do enough, was that what you wanted or didn't I do enough that is the question. To have tried and not succeeded or tried and succeeded that indeed is the question.

Will I be the evil villain or the super hero?

This time tomorrow we will all know the result, we will already blaming someone

or praising somebody.

If we win let it be me, let it be me, please let it be me.

Guess Who????

Slight Misunderstanding on the hill

General McChrystal V Everybody

Foot in Mouth again

Tell me what animal has a big mouth and big ears and keeps putting its foot in its mouth.

Its called a Tony Abbott I believe and it is quite rare. Its uniqueness is caused by it being unable to control its mouth properly, mind you its mouth is rather large you'd have to agree.

Apparently it can only control its mouth if it is reading from a prepared script, we should never take any notice of anything if its not written down.

This was confirmed today when it allegedly said it would win the next election(no script), then when it was reported in the newspapers it denied that it ever said it.

The animal continues to confound scientists by its erratic behaviour.

Israelies Still provide no new list of allowed goods

I am getting rather tied of writing about Israel's action or non actions.
Where is the Israel we all used to look up to, how did they become so one eyed.
Considering we were never supplied with an official existing list of goods, how on earth are we to tell what has been added or deleted from the new one.
That is assuming they do provide one, which I doubt will ever happen.


FDL By David Dayen
The country has managed to convince the world that they would ease the blockade on Gaza without producing a list of approved or banned goods, and a process for how those goods would make their way into the war-torn Palestinian strip. Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu says that everything that cannot be turned into a weapon will be allowed into Gaza, but has not produced a list defining those objects.

OK, but will that include cement, or construction and building materials? Thousands of homes have been destroyed in Gaza, and without such materials the residents cannot rebuild. The claim is that housing projects would have to be “approved by the Palestinian Authority (PA) and supervised by international organizations,"but did not appear to include residential buildings', but schools and hospitals. Also, so-called “dual-use” construction materials that could also be used for weapons would still be banned, without a clear picture of what that constituted.

English Soccer fans getting outside help

As can be seen from the number of fans that

descended on Stone Henge they are true believers.

The strength of belief will make the English team

unbeatable

THE SECRET CHANT THAT WAS HEARD CANNOT BE REPEATED,

SUFFICE TO SAY IT CALLS ON THE DARK FORCES

TO ENSURE THEY ARE GIVEN NO PENALTIES

AND THAT THE GOAL KEEPER IS GIVEN SUPER HUMAN POWERS

SoccerRoos to break new ground?"Prosthesis"

The Australian soccer team is set to break new ground, in a medical breakthrough they have begun testing a new prosthetic arm that is easier to remove and replace.

It is rumoured that the team is about to have all their players that are likely to be in the goal square have their arms removed and replaced by the these prosthesis. It is envisioned that whenever a corner is awarded to the opposing team, the defenders will remove their arms and place them in the containers situated near the side line.

Each of the arms will be micro chipped to ensure fast and accurate refitting. This way a penalty would never be awarded against them.

The other alternative is to use the prosthesis, but to swap the arms around between the players, that way the players can always claim the arm the obstructed was not theirs.

This is not the preferred method as some players believe that referees would no doubt still blame the wrong player. They believe that it is only a matter of time before a player on the bench is sent off.

The Australians believe that it has proved impossible to improve the limited eye site of referees, so instead this will give the Australians the upper hand.

Harry Kewell

testing the new lightweight

prosthesis

Harry volunteered for them to be fitted because he believes

that his existing arms have been a liability.

England may take a similar step inside goal

In the likely hood that the Australians do go ahead with this option it is believed that England will be looking at something similar for goal keepers, it seems that their is a loophole in the rules that will allow large hands with a glue like substance to be fitted.

 

This is prototype of the proposed hands to be fitted. They are to be fitted with a homing

device that detects when a soccer ball is within reach and launches the goalie in the right

direction.

Comfort is in the eyes of the beholder

Shown below is the latest in electronic gadgetry, as you can see the cleverness of this invention is it's simplicity.
In our clean green world isn't it wonderful to see such a perfect example of recycling. As an example take the whoopee cushion, who would of thought it could be put to such a great use, the soft sound it emits produces a strange feeling of ,was it me? forcing one to concentrate.
The leather straps that were once used for other purposes are now part of the new age of learning, forcing people to appreciate the truth, by forcing them to sit and listen.
This clever recycling also includes the use of the original headset as a sort of encouragement to the user take notice of their betters.
The similarity between this and television is astounding.
Tests have shown that combining all the component parts into one treatment ensures that participants feels all the sensations at once. It is envisioned that this gadget will overtake television in a few years.

The political parties around the world have shown a keen interest as they believe that it could make it possible to convince people that everything they say is honest and true.(similar to TV)

The mining companies in Australia are also showing a keen interest, though scientists are are at a loss to know why.

Note the Natural Finish

achieved by the use of

Natural Body Odours

ONE OF THESE COULD BE YOURS FOR A SPECIAL ONE OFF LOW PRICE

CHECK THE PRICE

WWW.Wouldyabelieve.com

BHP and Rio puts Liberia forward as alternative to Australia

The risks previously listed by BHP associated with doing business in Liberia included civil wars, poor infrastructure, corruption, political risk, security of tenure.
The so called facts about this venture have now been edited out and now make no mention of any of the true facts as detailed by them in there previous statement to shareholders.
To believe that this is a true alternative investment proposition is unbelievable, come on we are not totally stupid, we can read.
Who do think you are, telling us that Australia is no better than a country like Liberia.
That is a country that's only claim to fame is corruption and extortion schemes.

The only people who have anything in common with Liberia are the mining magnates who are quite willing to peddle their propaganda to the people of Australia to further their own ends, this is something that the Liberian government is also good at, no wonder they want to move there.


In Canberra, the Treasurer, Wayne Swan, has used his weekly ''economic note'' to revive the government's claim that the industry has been ''short-changing'' the public.

He said that using the recent coal price increases under the Queensland royalty system, only $6.20 a tonne of a $62-a-tonne increase in prices had gone to the state, with miners pocketing $55.80 a tonne extra.

PLUTOCRACY "The rule of wealth or of the wealthy"

 A government or state in which the wealthy class rules.Article by Clive Hamilton(National Times)14/6/2010

SO HERE'S the situation. A small group of obscenely rich people are acting in concert to bring down an elected government that wants to tax super profits. They want to install a new government sympathetic to their interests.

The war over the government's proposed tax on the super profits of mining companies is revealing the ugly truth of Australia's modern parliamentary system. It is not so much the $100 million war chest and the ruthless exercise of power by the mining companies that is shocking, but the attitude of outraged entitlement they project.

The mining industry has always believed it should receive special treatment, but the boom of recent years has seen its assumption of a privileged place reach sublime levels. Having governments fawn over them has inflated the egos of the magnates to the point where the normal constraints of propriety no longer prevent them from saying in public what they say to each other in private.

One of the most telling vignettes in this sordid debate was Andrew Forrest's expression of wounded bewilderment that the Prime Minister and the Treasurer no longer return his calls. Well, they won't return my calls either.

It's the sense of entitlement of the militant rich that sticks in the average craw. Yet in Australia today, mining billionaires expect that they only need to pick up the phone to get our most senior politicians to jump. So accustomed are the mining magnates to getting their own way that they are genuinely dismayed when the government, deciding for once to represent the collective interest, acts against the miners' commercial interests.

Editors Contribution: S.W.T.Read


The description by Clive Hamilton is very accurate and the stupid voters are being led by the nose by Abbott and the miners to the slaughter house, or should I say being led away from democracy.

The rule by people for the people seems not to count if you are a disciple of Abbott or the despicably greedy miners.

When this destruction of this government is complete, it is only then that Tony Abbott will realise that he now has sold his soul, it now belongs to the miners lock stock and barrel.

Can you imagine the celebrations they will have, knowing full well that they now control the country. Not that this will be new to them, they already control quite a few around the world.

I wonder will Tony be allowed to choose his own cabinet or will they........???