THIS BIG DOG LEAKS IN ALL DIRECTIONS
Wickileaks is about to release a new line in toilet paper to circumvent the attacks on the internet.
The Brand name is rumoured to be "Leakit and Wipe it" Once you have used it, you must flush it within 30 seconds, otherwise the CIA, it is believed will have detectors in all homes that detect paper that may contain unfavourable substances.
They have developed a sensor that detects anything that maligns anything American. It was developed with the help of PayPal, Amazon and a group of like minded American companies who have recently been rewarded with large defence contracts.(so rumour has it)