12 Mar 2011


      Ain't this the truth !!!

      Australian Letter of the Year....

     This is an actual letter sent to the DFAT (Department of Foreign
     Affairs and Trade) Immigration Minister. Various Federal Governments tried
     Desperately to censure the author, but got nowhere because every
     Legal person who read it nearly wet themselves laughing!

     Dear Mr. Minister,

     I'm in the process of renewing my passport, and still cannot believe this.
     How is it that K-Mart has my address and telephone number, and knows
     That I bought a television set and golf clubs from them back in 1997,
     And yet the Federal Government is still asking me where I was born
     And on what date?

     For Christ sakes, do you guys do this by hand?

     My birth date you have in my Medicare information, and it is on all
     The income tax forms I've filed for the past 40 years.    
     It is also on my driver's licence, on the last eight passports I've ever had, on all those
     Stupid customs declaration forms I've had to fill out before being allowed off planes
     Over the past 30  years.
    It's also on all those insufferable census forms that I've filled

    out every 5 years since 1966.

     Also...  Would somebody please take note, once and for all, that my mother's name is
     Audrey, my father's name is Jack, and I'd be absolutely astounded if that ever changed

    between now and when I drop dead!!!...

      What do you people do with all this information we keep having to provide??

     I apologise, Mr. Minister.

    But I'm really pissed off this morning.
    Between you and me, I've had enough of all this bullshit!

     You send the application to my house, then you ask me for my address??
     What the hell is going on with your mob?  Have you got a gang of mindless
     Neanderthals working there!

     And another thing, look at my damn picture...  Do I look like Bin Laden?
     I can't even grow a beard for God's  sakes. I just want to go to New Zealand and see
     My new granddaughter.  (Yes, my son interbred with a Kiwi girl).

     Would someone please tell  me, why would you give a **** whether or not I plan on
     visiting a farm in the next 15 days?
     In the unlikely event I ever got the urge to do something weird to a sheep or a horse, believe
    you me, I'd  sure as hell not want to tell anyone!

     Well, I have to go now, 'cause I have to go to the other end of the city, and get another
     copy of my birth certificate - and to part with another $80 for the privilege of 
     Accessing MY OWN INFORMATION!

     Would  it be so complicated to have all the services in the same spot, to assist in the
     Issuance of a new passport on the same day??
     Nooooo..  That 'd  be too easy and makes far too much sense.
     You would much prefer to have us running all over the place like chickens with our
     heads cut off, and then having to find some 'high-society' wanker to confirm that it's

     really me in the goddamn      photo! You know the photo... The one where we're
     Not allowed to smile?! .... You BLOODY morons.

     Signed - An Irate Australian Citizen.

     P.S. Remember what I said above about the picture, and getting
     Someone in 'high-society' to confirm that it's me? Well, my family
     Has been in this country since before 1850!  In 1856, one of my
     Forefathers took up arms with Peter Lalor. (You do remember the
     Eureka Stockade!!)

      I have also served in both the CMF and regular Army for something
     Over 30  years (I went to Vietnam in 1967), and still have high
     Security clearances. I'm also a personal friend of the president of
     The RSL... And Lt General Peter Cosgrove sends me a Christmas card
     Each year.

     However, your rules require that I have to get someone "important" to
     Verify who I am; You know... Someone like my doctor - WHO WAS BORN
     AND RAISED IN ANOTHER **.....  ing country where they either
     Assassinate or hang their ex-Prime Ministers - and are suspended from
     The Commonwealth for not having the "right sort of government".

     You are all *****ING idiots!

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