20 Dec 2011


School's out, Mum's at work - time for Daddy's rules December 20, 2011 - 8:56AM 



Beds must be made each morning, throw covering back on bed, throw any clothing and abandoned toys from the previous day back onto the so called bed.

Until such a time as play clothes can stand and walk by themselves to the laundry (two-to three weeks in most cases) they must be worn in lieu of the laundry Daddy has not done yet.

Yes, chocolate milk is breakfast and Pizza too.

No, Mummy need not be consulted.In fact, let's keep her out of this. She is a busy woman.

Dishes not cleaned up after breakfast will be used for lunch and dinner.

Yes, the dog can help you clean the dishes.

No, Mummy need not be consulted.
I know what she told you but sometimes Mummies don't know what's best for them.
Or us.

Yes, the neighbours' gardens are appropriate play areas but if you are discovered I will disavow any knowledge of your operations.

Yes, chocolate milk and pizza are formally recognised as food groups.

No, Mummy need not be consulted.

No, you cannot watch TV all day because Daddy needs to. It’s for work. Yes. It is.

No. Mummy doesn’t need to know.

No eating in the pool unless you bring Daddy a cool beer, and yes, the pool is an acceptable substitute for the bath.

No. An empty Coke bottle is not a scuba tank and the cats cannot use them to go swimming with you under water.

Yes. Daddy needs another cool beer.

"Another cool beer please.

Yeah, you can order the dinner pizza. Just don’t spill it coming into the pool.

"Another beer"

If I told you once I've told you a hundred times yes trees are toilets.
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