8 Nov 2012


THE DEFINITION OF A ROMNEY after a Tea Party is added

Mitt Romney is now officially a historical footnote. But future generations will likely be puzzled by what exactly a "Mitt Romney" is and why America cared. That could be difficult to explain, especially when we suspect that the annals of history will assume that Mitt Romney is one of the following:
  • A type of knot
  • A weird sex position
  • The back seat on a canoe
  • That feeling where you can't remember someone's name
  • The scientific name for a towel rod
  • A dance
  • A Native American tribe
  • Some kind of acronym
  • A cookbook for people who can't read
  • A type of French fries
  • A nickname for soup
  • A cul-de-sac with two entrances
  • An actor from the 1940s who specialized in playing butlers and detectives
  • The national currency of New Zealand
  • A type of artificial chocolate
  • When one man compliments another man's hat
  • Finance jargon
  • A slur against paraplegic Eskimos
  • A rotten tangerine
  • A shade of green not found in nature
  • Debunked rumor about the mating habits of fleas
  • A book that is neither hardcover nor paperback
  • A carnival ride
  • Definitely not a president