Australian toilet roll manufacturers are terrified that their market will evaporate after comments that the News Ltd newspapers are an excellent alternative to Sorbent and other brands.
These manufacturers are considering releasing a broad sheet sized toilet paper with made up stories printed on them to counteract the inroads that the Australian newspaper has already had on sales.
Their scientist have estimated that from one newspaper one could manage to approximately achieve 3,000 bottom wipes which will devastate the industry.
They believe that they can create a similar product with the same level of ethical journalism but with a much softer feel.
The product will still have tear off squares, this will enable users to select the useless sections first and keep the good bits for later use if they can find any.
Users can make the toilet experience a more fulfilling part of their lives.
The newspapers are expected to hit back by using sweet smelling printing ink, but the toilet people believe that newspapers will still smell the same, no matter which ink they use.