|In Austria, It's Pronounced 'Fooking'|
"...we will not stand for the Fucking signs being removed. It may be very amusing for you British, but Fucking is simply Fucking to us. What is this big Fucking joke?"
Fucking, Austria — It's safe to say that Lord Focko had no idea the village named after him would one day become a sanctuary for English-speaking sex tourists.
Since Lord Focko's death some 600 years ago, the village's name has gone through various incarnations, from Fukching to Fugkhing, until settling in its current, widely popular spelling, Fucking.
The woman at the area information center said"There is nothing to do in Fucking. There isn't even a hotel."
Turns out she is wrong on both counts, terribly wrong.
Only three types of tourists apparently visit this area: those who want to take in the Alpine scenery, those who want to see Adolf Hitler's birthplace in Braunau, and those who want to visit Fucking and people interested in climbing the nearby mountain called Wank.
According to "Fucking Travel Tips" on the website Virtual Tourist, the number one thing to do in Fucking is "seeing the road signs."
The lack of excitement hasn't stopped hordes of primarily young British tourists from making a pilgrimage to pay their respects to Lord Focko each year.
The favourite thing is taking pictures of themselves in front of the Fucking road sign, often in various degrees of nudity or even during sexual intercourse.
Fifteen signs have gone missing in a year. Producing new ones at approximately $500 a piece has been a significant budget burden for the village of 104 people.
Lothar Lerch, who writes frequently about Fucking for Virtual Tourist, recommends a road trip from Kissing(Germany)to Fucking(Austria). A direct route from Kissing to Fucking takes just over two hours. The scenic route includes stops in Petting or Tittmoning. A detour through Condom, let alone Wedding which takes much longer.
Lerch documented his trip by taking numerous pictures of the road signs.
"We thought that the Fucking locals are used to that but suddenly an elderly guy stopped his car just beside us while we took some of these pics and he asked us what the ******g hell were we doing here, because just recently again one of the road signs was stolen."
The village of Fucking, all three dozens houses of it, is quaint, but fiercely determined not to cater to tourists who are there because of the infamous road signs. There are no souvenir shops selling Fucking postcards and the last person in the village who tried to sell "I Love Fucking" T-shirts was forced by fellow villagers to stop capitalizing on good 'ole Fooking.
The only place in town that legitimately cashes in on Fucking's fame is a bed and breakfast called Gasthof Lindlbauer. Although it sits a few hundred feet behind the road sign marking the end of Fucking, it provides sex tourists with a handful of pleasant rooms decorated, somewhat discouragingly, with a sculpture of a crucified Jesus.
For those unwilling to fornicate outside by the Fucking sign, the guesthouse does provide a legal alternative.
This humor, fortunately, doesn't end there.
A man who works at the guest house, a self-described "great cooker" and a semi-professional artist, works at the guest house and pours what he calls a "good Fucking beer."
It is only a matter of time until the restaurant starts serving the new, controversial brew called "Fucking Hell," a type of pale lager, or "hell" in German.
The European Patent Office first rejected the trademark, but was forced to approve it earlier this year after a German brewery claimed that Fucking Hell just means "lager from the village of Fucking."
Tourists, they get are typically disappointed because they have great expectations for Fucking and all they find is a boring little village full of farmers.
"Sometimes, I think somebody should open up a nightclub or swingers club in Fucking," he said.
A free spirit in Lindlbauer has a studio filled with his own erotic-imagery paintings and portraits.
On the wall, he spray-painted a logo of the cigarette company Lucky Strikes, with the letters switched up to read "Fucky Likes.
"This might be the only Fucking village in the world," he said proudly and as far as he knows, he is the only Fucking artist. Although many an artist would kill to have his address, Lindlbauer hopes to leave Fucking behind one day and move to Australia, where the Fucking word is commonly used in many contexts.
6 Jan 2013
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