Coalition pledges to over run Nauru with asylum seekers

Coalition pledges Giant tent city for tiny Nauru

• BY: 
• From:The Australian 
• July 30, 2013 1:17PM :Edited by SWT Read

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THE Coalition is planning to establish a tent city on Nauru to hold thousands of asylum-seekers under a commitment lasting at least five years, escalating the policy fight on border protection as Labor prepares to transfer detainees to Papua New Guinea as soon as tonight.

An Abbott government would build the new camp to take at least between 2000 and 5000 people while finding locations for thousands more in a major policy move that would give asylum-seekers "no guarantee" of settlement in Australia.

Nauru is the world's smallest republic, great idea this island covers just 21 square kilometres (8.1 sq mi). With approx.9,378 residents, it is the second least-populated country after Vatican City.

Is this for real, they going to dump thousands on the smallest Republic in the world.
How desperate are they to be different to the government, wow,what a good idea to treat this tiny neighbour this way.

A logistics company that stands to profit from the Coalition's "tent city" on Nauru funded the trip of its immigration spokesman Scott Morrison and a journalist and photographer from News Corporation to the remote island to announce the plan.

The trip to Nauru was facilitated by Toll Holdings, which has multimillion-dollar contracts already to help handle asylum seekers and is eager for more business in the area.

Other news outlets were not invited to travel with Mr Morrison

Education: Playing with school funding, a sick joke!

CLEVER POLITICS OR BLOODY MINDEDNESS! 

Victoria and Queensland are yet to sign up to the new funding model, while Western Australia and the Northern Territory governments say they will not implement the new system. 

South Australian schools will receive an additional $3bn; Tasmania an extra $1.1bn; the ACT an additional $655 million while the Northern Territory has walked away from an additional $985m.

Queensland schools stand to gain the biggest injection of funding, $16.5bn over six years on top of 2013 funding levels, including an extra $3.8bn to lift the state's schools to the resource standard prescribed under the new model, they also are considering walking away from $20.3bn. 

NSW schools receive the second largest boost in funding, worth $15.1bn over six years, followed by Victoria, $14.7bn.

Western Australia who have also walked away from the deal will loose $9.2bn.

War in parliament house!

War room, Bunker are the words now used to describe what's happening in the house.
These are just every day meeting rooms that have now taken on a different meaning
thanks to the looming election. 

Sink the boats, tow the boats back, I can do anything better than you, no you can't, yes I can!
yes I can!
THE HOT AIR BEING GENERATED COULD POWER A CITY.

Are the voters interested, no there just sick and tired of the diatribe coming out of our leaders, these are the people we are supposed to look up to,I don't think so!

The asylum issue is dead and Rudd has killed it, the cat has been skinned, move on guys,please.

Abbott and abortion

Abortion, has Abbott changed?

Tony Abbott, who has repeatedly demonstrated not only his contempt for women’s reproductive rights, but his steadfast belief in the right of the state to regulate women’s bodies.
His promise not to interfere in abortion law if elected is utterly meaningless against the backdrop of his past actions. 

Abbott worked hard to prevent Australian women gaining access to RU486 (a situation that is thankfully now rectified) and as Julia Gillard recalled in her now famous “misogyny speech” to parliament, a few years ago he referred to abortion as “the easy way out”.

It has been reduced to a question of the mother's convenience”said Abbott. 

Some have noted that because abortion law is regulated by the states and the threat posed by a prime minister Abbott is not credible.

As long as there are anti-choice politicians in positions of power, women will be at risk.
In Victoria, the battle was fought over decades to guarantee access to terminations, while in other states the fight continues, and all of this progress could be jeopardised by a top-down return to retrograde thinking about women’s rights.

A three star general as opposed to two star general

SH*T HAPPENS

Accept for the name Operation Sovereign Borders, which sounds a bit like a comic book title, what is the difference between the Coalition and the government, the same resources different name.
This is joke!!

We've all heard of Captain America and now we are to have a Captain(General)Australia who's mere presence will stop  the boats.

Mind you, I think this would be a poison challis for whoever the general is that takes it on, because the Coalition is setting this three star to take the blame if anything goes wrong.
One central control is the magic word, and they will make it his baby, dirty nappies and all.

Lets face it neither side has an easy answer to this problem, they are both playing politics.

No solution will work without both parties support, this is not a game we should be using to score points against the other side.

Young should not be encouraged to vote says Coalition in Australia.

Senate leader Eric Abetz ?

Not really, but there is a similarity

ACTIVIST group GetUp! has been accused of breaching electoral laws with a web-based competition to give away $40,000 in gold bullion to encourage young people to enrol to vote for the first time in the forthcoming federal election.

The competition offers prizes of $5000 to a first-time enrollee from each state and territory

GetUp! has quarantined the contest from its campaigning activities, hosting it on a separate "Go for gold" website. But above the entry form is a button inviting entrants to "Learn more about GetUp!". With just four mouse clicks they can sign up to GetUp! campaigns on issues such as coal-seam gas and marriage equality.

Opposition Senate leader Eric Abetz described the competition as a "stunt".He apparently doesn't like the idea of young voters actually voting.

"Clearly, GetUp!'s intention with this latest gold bullion scam is to steer young enrollees toward GetUp!'s website, where they will receive partisan political messages and be groomed into voting for the Greens," he said. "It should fall foul of the Electoral Act."

GetUp grooming the young to vote a particular way? What about News Ltd's papers that are so one eyed in favour of the Coalition. Why haven't the government critisised GetUp, maybe they think that the more young voters enrolled the better.

Section 326 of the act says: "A person shall not, with the intention of influencing or affecting" votes "give or confer, or promise or offer to give or confer, any property or benefit of any kind to that other person or to a third person" and provides penalties of a $5000 fine or imprisonment for two years or both.

An AEC spokesman said the commission was "not a supporter" of competitions such as GetUp!'s.
However they said "We regard enrolment and voting as not only compulsory in our electoral system but an important part of the democratic ethos in Australia for which prizes do not seem to be really appropriate."

The expert Opposition electoral affairs spokeswoman Bronwyn Bishop slammed the AEC's interpretation of the act as "wishy-washy".We all know what balanced views Bronwyn has.

GetUp! national director Sam McLean said the competition complied with all relevant laws. "No one who enters this competition will get any GetUp! campaign emails."

Get a good grip when driving this car.

Driving on drugs ... with no steering wheel, what a wacker!

Date

July 23, 2013 - 1:58PM

• 97 reading now

Rebekah Holliday

The driver was controlling the vehicle with a pair of vice grips. Photo: SA Police

Driving unregistered and uninsured were the least of an Adelaide man's problems when he was pulled over in the city's north-eastern suburbs on Monday.

It was 8.30am when the officers stopped his Holden sedan on Sudholz Road at Gilles Plains, believing him to be driving dangerously in the morning's peak-hour traffic.

The officers discovered not only were two tyres blown out but the steering wheel was missing, leaving the driver to control the vehicle with a pair of vice grips.

"Further investigations led police to believe the vehicle had just been involved in a hit-run crash in Northfield only minutes earlier," a police spokesman said.

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The driver, a 38-year-old Northfield man, was allegedly driving while disqualified and returned a positive drug test to methyl amphetamine and cannabis.

He was arrested and charged with driving without due care, failing to stop at the scene of a crash, driving in a manner dangerous, driving while disqualified, unregistered, uninsured and contrary to defect and breaching his bail conditions.  

He has appeared in court and was remanded in custody.

Premier Campbell Newman wants to move Papua New Guinea further away.

Newman must believe in fairies

and things unbelievable 

I am not making this up, fair suck of the sauce bottle.

Premier Campbell Newman says, "QUEENSLAND will face a new wave of asylum seekers trying to escape Papua New Guinea."PNG will become a ''launching pad'' for asylum seekers to island hop across the Torres Strait to Queensland.

It will be a wave of additional ongoing immigration from PNG into Queensland, either legal or illegal,'' Mr Newman said.

Mr Newman says.''You can go from PNG into Queensland across the Strait in a row boat.''
Has Mr Newman ever crossed between PNG and Queensland by boat, I don't think so because this stretch of water is extremely dangerous because of the currents caused at the change of tides.

Campbell Newman appears to be objecting to the geographic location of Papua New Guinea. It's been there for a long time.''Now according to Campbell its to close.

Why would people island hop to Australia, just to be returned to PNG. Campbell pull the other one mate and get real.

Womb Watchers awaken, a royal child is born.

The Guardian 23/07/2013:Edited by S W T Read

The easel has spoken oh  womb-watchers

Kate, who refused to let her poshness get in the way of a good push, has lost at least eight pounds(new weight watchers diet) No its babyweight this evening.

The royal gynaecologist, a job title which up until recently only existed in our wildest and most depraved of dreams, has brought forth an heir. He is held up to her subjects a la "The Lion King" and we duly frolic and rejoice like the animals that we are.

Yes, to see a girl become heir to the throne following a historic change in legislation would have felt like a victory of sorts, even for those of us who would prefer not to have a monarchy at all.

There are few times one gets to see a woman in power. I for one am glad that it's a boy.

We know from previous experience that royals inevitably grow up as either tabloid fodder (girl) or cannon fodder (boy), although in neither case are we are permitted to see too much of their personal action.

This baby faced an insane amount of scrutiny in utero, including, in a desperate attempt to fill the no news vacuum.

Now god forbid we will be bombarded with pictures and stories about weight gained, hair colour, first words and god knows what.

Where can we hide, nowhere, even wearing a birka will not save us from the dreaded 24 hour news cycle that must be offered up sacrifices to stay alive.

This lad will no doubt quench its thirst for some time to come.

Labors only threat to winning is the ghost who walks

DANGER, DANGER, WARNING

The only fear for Labor is the second coming.
The danger, the Liberal Party will do the unthinkable, they will change leaders.

Two pollsters have conducted voting-intentions surveys in the last two weeks with the hypothetical Malcolm Turnbull as Liberal leader and they came up with pretty much the same thing: neck-and-neck after preferences under the current leaders, but the Coalition about 15 per cent ahead under the Ghost who walks Turnbull.

Polls like that should be taken with a grain of salt, people don’t really know how they’ll feel, this is in an imaginary situation.
However those about Rudd have so far proved pretty right.

There is something about swinging voters, many of them are of a mind to vote Coalition in 2013 but have reservations about Tony Abbott as prime minister.

Abbott has been in the job for three and a half years, a long time.
Even the most highly-regarded opposition leader would lose their gloss in that time and Tony  has never been high gloss, in fact at the moment its more like white wash. He was never very highly-regarded as a future PM even by his colleagues.

The opposition really—really— wants to win this election, and with that in mind, even trading a likely victory for a close-to-certain one would be a powerful motivator for change.

They would not want to die wondering.

This is no different to Bill Hayden with Bob Hawke in 1983.

If the election is postponed until October—meaning parliament is recalled—and the polls don’t improve much soon for the Coalition, the opposition probably will do the dirty deed "leadership indeed."

DEAD MAN TALKING AND MALCOLM STALKING!

Tony Abbott can feel the hot breath on his neck and it's not from a lover.
Murmuring can be heard in the ranks, his people are wondering if he is about to loose the un-loosable election because Kevin Rudd is now dictating the agenda for this election.

Then there is MALCOLM Turnbull, is he starting to test the wind.

He says he knows many people would prefer he lead the Liberal Party rather than Tony Abbott, but that they should vote for the party anyway, even if they hate Tony.

(A big ask Malcolm)

He's ruled out having a tilt at the leadership, despite polls showing he was far more popular than the current opposition leader and as the federal Labour government under Kevin Rudd closes the gap between the parties, questions about Tony's campaigning are being asked.

Tongue cheek he says "There are a lot of people out there who would rather I was leading the Liberal Party; it is ridiculous to deny that that's not happening."

"If they think I am a person of capability and quality and so forth, they should be comforted by the fact that I am part of that team in a senior leadership position."

Malcolm we would like to believe you but that back flip on the NBN showed us that you are being dictated to by Tony.

So Malcolm you may be at the top table but you don't set the table and until you decide to sit at the head of the table where you belong we'll all be loosers.

TONY ABBOTT NOT MR HAPPY PANTS

Samantha Maiden: Edited by S W T Read on 18/07/2013

IF KEV SCORES OVER FIFTY

HE MAY YET BE THE NEW CAPTAIN

The polls are up and if Labor hits the lead beyond 50:50 - and distinct possibility they could win - that's when we will really see what Tony Abbott is made of.

At  the moment Tony Abbott looks slightly grumpy and he sounds slightly grumpy too.

His colleagues insist he never gets cross about anything but his demeanour is showing just a waft of a major sulk.

You can sense his frustration with journalists who just want to talk about Rudd and don't want to focus on his lack of policies.

Julia Gillard must be chuckling: "Oh, Tony. Welcome to my bloody world."

His post-2007 dummy spit when his colleagues told him he had a crappy campaign, fighting with Bernie Banton(the asbestos victim) and swearing at Nicola Roxon at the National Press Club was legendary.

Tony Abbott is not exactly Mr Happy Pants any more either. He has had a charmed run from the press, now he has to front up.

The Coalition have been concerned about how long it took him to get a paid advertising campaign out to counter the Rudd megaphone.

That starts tonight and after seeing what it entails I'm not sure how effective it will be, because it only drags out old news.

The Labor Party is getting all the free media it wants, because you just couldn't afford to buy this, everything a new prime minister does gets the shiny, new and interesting treatment.

Tony must move out of the time warp, this is no Julia he's fighting, this is a man the press love.

NOT HAPPY JOYCE!

Fringe Benefits Tax. People are cheating the system every day!

Salary packaging businesses will be hurt , Garbage!

Nothing has changed accept keeping a log.

New cars sales will drop, Garbage!

The government has not abolished the FBT concession for cars but has only changed the way it was administered to remove an automatic tax deduction.

People will be required to keep records for three months every five years to "justify that claim". How onerous is that, come on pull the other one!

Treasury advice says that two-thirds of the 320,000 people affected earned more than $100,000.

There were a "lot of people fiddling the system" and they were driving BMW's and other imported brands not just Australian made Holden's.

Industry figures privately admitted people could use their car under the scheme for up to 100 per cent private use but claim 80 per cent was work-related.

Can someone tell me why new car sales will drop, are these people going to buy

 push bikes.

MY NEW MODE OF TRANSPORT

I USED TO DRIVE A BEAMER

NOW BECAUSE I CAN'T FILL IN A LOG BOOK

I DRIVE THIS, WHOA IS ME!

PROCESSING OFF SHORE, IT WORKED ONCE UPON A TIME and we didn't need to use places such as Nauru.

OFF SHORE PROCESSING WHY DID WE STOP DOING IT AUSTRALIA

Is it the fear of terrorism since 9/11 or is it that we don't invest in off shore processing in South East Asia as we once did.

Memories as Vietnamese asylum boats at 20-year high

• BY:NICOLAS PERPITCH 
• From:The Australian 
• July 16, 2013 12:00AM Edited by SWT Read

THE 84 Vietnamese asylum-seekers on a vessel stopped just north of Broome this week are part of the largest influx of people arriving from the communist country by boat in almost two decades.

On current trends, this year will see the greatest number of Vietnamese boat arrivals on record; surpassing the 868 asylum-seekers who arrived in 1977, two years after the fall of the South Vietnamese regime.

The US has funded resettlement programs throughout South Asia where people are screened and processed for settlement in the US, why can't we be doing the same thing, this would indeed stop the boats.

No! We have solved the problem by calling them illegals and shipping them off to islands in the middle of the Pacific at great cost, why, because its all politics.

Contrary to the popular mythology of the Vietnamese "boat people", this method of entry was confined to a small number, just over 2000.

The vast majority of the 90,000 Vietnamese refugees who came here by the mid-1980s were processed offshore in camps in South-East Asia, they did not come by boat, they did not have to risk their lives at sea.

Today, a community that numbered a few hundred in the early 1970s is estimated to be about 200,000, counting the second generations.

ABBOTT TO FUND BUSINESS FOR REDUCING INVISIBLE SUSTANCES

HAVE YOU BEEN SMOKING TONY

Opposition Leader Tony Abbott has poured scorn on Labor's new plan to move to an emissions trading scheme one year early, describing an ETS as ''not a true market''.

''Just ask yourself what an emissions trading scheme is all about. It's a so-called market in the non-delivery of an invisible substance to no one,'' Tony said on Monday.

Invisible substance! This is the same substance that the Coalition intends to subsidize to the tune of many millions of dollars of tax payers money, and who will the beneficiaries be, the miners and big businesses of course. 

The government scheme would see Australia move from the present fixed carbon price of $24.15 a tonne to the floating European price, at present about $6 a tonne, on July 1, 2014.

Who will pay this premium, the polluters of course, so they should.

Kevin Rudd and John Howard are on same page while Tony Abbott has lost his place in this test side.

RUDD AND HOWARD

HAND IN HAND

Kevin Rudd and John Howard on the same page as far as Carbon Emissions Trading system.

Yes not long ago in Tony Abbott's recent past under Howard he was all for Emissions trading because he is strong on letting the market decide on price.

Now we have a Tony that doesn't like the idea, or so he says(I'll abolish carbon tax), well if you listen to what he really says. He will introduce another type of system that we tax payer will pay for in full not businesses but us.
His new system will replace the old, how much we will pay is unknown.

Yes his alternate system is based on us paying for businesses to become cleaner, no incentives for them to do it except a big open cheque from us the average voter, is this a complete con, yes.

We the voters will pay miners and others millions to clean up their act, something they should have been doing years ago. The Coalition as usual will have us the voters pay, while they give their mates, big business the tax breaks.

REAL SPEAK PLEASE.... SAY IT LIKE IT IS!

THOSE WHO SPEAK WITH FORKED TONGUE

DO SO AT THEIR PERIL

Diana Elliott : Edited by SWT  Read

Rudd’s return to the prime ministerial office has him throwing out his tendency to behave like a pedantic bureaucrat and becoming a regular guy. 

Just a regular guy, rocking around Australia and cooking with gas, he is deliberately attempting to recast himself, and he is succeeding.
The message he is sending out is simple, give me a chance to show you what I can do if I'm given a fair go and not dumped like the last time.

What some politicians seem to be missing is that we prefer to see their true selves, we the voters can spot insincerity a mile away. Look at the farce that was created by the spin doctors in the the last federal election campaign, the real Julia was turned into a false identity.

Apparently by all accounts, Abbott is warm, personable and capable of talking about things other than slogans, although we've not witnessed much of it to date.

They put him in front of a camera, and what happens he turns into a talking cardboard cut out of himself, his responses always contain "look..., aah, err" as though everything that follows is of great import and consequence.

The disconnect between what the media want (headlines) and what the politicians give (the party line) is totally  out of whack with what Australians want to hear.

What is it we want, (plain speak and explanations about what's happening and when).

This type of behaviour may continue from some politicians but they do so at their peril because we are just sick of it!

Role on the Election, will the real people please stand up!

YOU MEAN I CAN BE ME!

Sulking Abbot like a rabbit that found a bolt hole or has he found the bottle?

By George Negus: Edited by S.w.T.read

IS IT DEBATE OR DIE FOR TONY?

Tony Abbott has been on a great big sulk since September 2010. He has become Mr Rabbit, forever looking for a bolt hole.

Press conferences end abruptly, without fielding questions and he refuses to appear on Q&A on ABC.
It’s time for "Dr No" to say "yes".

Abbott’s point of refusal – that if the prime minister really wanted to debate him, he would call the election date or recall parliament, it’s a stunt.

We get that.
Who cares? Tony’s hardly stunt-shy. But here's one thing he should keep in mind: he isn't the only one who might stutter when asked about policy.

Debating Rudd at the National Press Club offers Abbott a golden opportunity to remind Australia of the PM’s penchant for big words.

Rudd might rock around the place from time to time, but behind the lectern, nerdy daggy Dad gives way to prime minister and he's good at it, very good at being a PM.

No one wants nerdy Kevin in his or her lounge room but PM Rudd is a different kettle of fish.

Now I’m told that in person, Abbott is charismatic and whip smart. He could bring that to the Press Club, and leave the dead-eyed circling shark we have seen so often, behind him.

As for Rudd, he says we’ve booked the hall and set a time, be there or be square."

It looks like a gamble.

No it’s not. Rudd loses nothing if Abbott is a no show because he’s not the opposition leader.

He’s PM. He won’t talk to an empty lectern he’ll give a speech and take the piss out of Tony, the journo's will laugh and love every minute, and it will all be on TV.


Think of it, the headline  "‘Heavy Kevvy’ Rudd TKO’s ‘No Ticker’ Tony"..

Call his bluff, Tony or you are going to have enough egg over your face to feed the homeless for weeks.

TEST SERIES...RUDD ONE ABBOTT NIL

RUDD'S INDONESIAN MEETING

A BIG SCORE 

Kevin Rudd has once again shown us how diplomacy works, can you imagine Tony Abbott doing the same, I don't think so.
Indonesia has recognized that refugees are a regional problem and has suggested a meeting of the regional players to try and come up with a solution.
Tony Abbott's solution is to turn back the boats, this will solve the problem, sorry Tony the problem is bigger than that, going back to the past will not solve it!
The problem requires a new approach, a long overdue appraisal that will require our neighbours cooperation.
A fresh approach is needed rather than slogans for political gain.

Tony Nil ---Rudd 1

Why would I suggest the above score, well we have yet to see any positive ideas from Tony, I can't believe he hasn't any new ideas, so why isn't he showing us something, anything, come on Tony give it your best shot.

I'm not suggesting your all huff and puff, so give us electors something to look at other than slogans.

Life after severed penis 'never been better

By QMI Agency

Getting his penis cut off was the best thing that ever happened to John Wayne Bobbitt's sex life.

Since being mutilated by his wife 20 years ago this week, the 46-year-old former U.S. marine has starred in porn films and slept with 70 women, he told Britain's Sun newspaper.

Doctors took 10 hours to re-attach the top 2 1/2 inches of his organ that wife Lorena had severed with a kitchen knife and thrown into a field.

Then Bobbitt got it "souped up," as he calls it, with penis enlargement surgery paid for by radio personality Howard Stern.

"I joke it's...like an ordinary car with a bigger engine. I can honestly say it's never been better," the Sun quotes him as saying.

Bobbitt parlayed his new and improved penis into roles in adult films called Uncut and Frankenpenis.

He married twice more.

"Being famous for my penis has given me opportunities I could not have ever imagined."Said Bobbitt.

Don't wish for something to big to handle.

News: Weird

He was shafted by a great erection!

She couldn't handle it!

AN imperfect penile implant left a truck driver with an erection that wouldn't deflate … for eight months.

Daniel Metzgar's delicate predicament has led to a malpractice lawsuit being heard in a Delaware court.

Wherever the 44-year-old New Jersey truck driver went, his condition got in the way, said Metzgar's attorney, Michael C. Heyden. Retrieving the morning newspaper became a problem. So was riding his motorcycle. Family events presented embarrassing situations because, as Heyden put it: "Dan is stuck in this position."

According to the court papers and testimony at New Castle County Superior Court. the initial procedure was done in 2009 by a Wilmington urologist, Dr. Thomas J. Desperito, Delaware Online reported. The surgery involved placing an inflatable penile implant inside the shaft of the penis, a fluid reservoir under the abdominal wall and a pump inside the scrotum.

Metzgar said he had hoped the prosthesis would help his love life with his wife, Donna, where other solutions had failed. Unfortunately, it did just the opposite, making him feel like less of a man.

"I could hardly dance, with an erection poking my partner," Metzgar told jurors Monday when he took the witness stand. The procedure caused him to shink from much of life, and he took up wearing long baggy sweatpants and a long shirt to hide his situation.

After the surgery, he claimed his scrotum grew to the size of a volleyball. Attorneys for the urologist claim that Metzgar, at that point — four months after the surgery — should have realized something was wrong.

Desperito's attorney, Colleen D. Shields, insisted that the urologist told Metzgar the prosthesis had to be removed four months after the surgery when the patient complained of an infection and that the erection wasn't going down. Metzgar, according to Shields, didn't do anything for months following the visit in late April 2010.

The prosthesis was eventually removed by another doctor in August 2010 and replaced, but Metzgar said that the scar tissue from the first surgery left him about 50 percent smaller and that he does not experience the same level of sensation.

Metzgar and his wife are seeking unspecified damages from Desperito and his medical group.

Husband said best sleep for ages.

QUESTION?

DID HUSBAND PLACE SUPER GLUE IN MAKE UP CUPBOARD

A New Zealand woman was left speechless by making a simple mistake while sifting through her medicine cabinet.

A 64-year-old woman made the unfortunate mistake of thinking a container of super glue was medicated cream. Within minutes she couldn't open her mouth, the Otago Daily Times reports.

The patient, who sought anonymity from the media, was fumbling in the dark for a balm to apply to a cold sore late Thursday night, the Telegraph reported.

The super glue was in the same tray in her cupboard with her make up.

She couldn't get a whiff of the ointment, because her sense of smell was muddled by a cold. The next thing she knew, she was in bed and her lips were sealed tightly.

She apparently couldn't wake her husband, no voice.

So when she called the emergency services number, she couldn't even get a word in edgewise with the operator.

Senior Sergeant Steve Aitken said the woman "sounded gagged or possibly had a medical condition," She could only grunt."

The glue was removed with paraffin oil at a hospital in Dunedin.

Handy stuff that super glue!