What makes you think it’s a grand idea to juggle fire and matches after several champagne cocktails?
And the last time you rode a bike was before high school, so please explain why you are attempting a wheelie in thongs after several hours of hooking into the Christmas spirits.
As the portly chap in the flammable red suit prepares for his annual squeeze down the exhaust extractor, take action to ensure you head into 2019 intact.
“The big injuries over Christmas in Australia feature dads who buy skateboards, scooters or bikes for the kids and then break their wrists or other bones demonstrating them.
Santa does not take any responsibility for grown-ups behaving like children after they buy so called toys for the children.